Episode No. 105 The Truth About Being Nice—Is It Doing More Harm Than Good?
“Don’t be afraid of losing people be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.”
-Coach Simona
Want to know the definition of the word nice? Well, According to Merriam Webster, being nice is to be polite or kind. That means holding the elevator for someone when you see them rushing to get on. Or merely saying a quick hello when you pass someone in the grocery store. Pretty simple right? Well, yes, but no.
You see, some of us (hello, my recovering people pleaser crew) seem to have missed the memo on what being nice actually means. We think that:
Putting others needs and wants before our own
Saying yes when we want to say no
Not being honest about how we feel to avoid confrontation
Biting off way more than we can chew to help someone else out
Playing small and dimming our light, as not to outshine others
Is being nice. The truth? That 'ish ain't nice at all. Want to know what it is? It's called a people-pleasing. It's a defense mechanism that we've learned because we believe we have to earn love and acceptance. Deep right? Yep!
So how do you stop people-pleasing? How can you show up as a nice and kind person in this world without compromising your own well-being? Is there a way to be supportive and show that you care without putting yourself second? Well, that's what we’re talking about in today's episode. We're unraveling why we have a deep desire to be nice, people-pleasing, boundaries, and everything in between.
Topics Discussed:
The difference between being nice and being a people pleaser
The telltale signs of people-pleasing
Being okay with letting people down
Creating and sticking to your own boundaries
How to be a good (friend, mom, partner, employee) without putting yourself last
Resources Mentioned In Today’s Episode:
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There’s a Key Distinction Between Being Nice and Being a “People-Pleaser” Article on Well & Good by Kells McPhillips
